im quite stressed and sort of sad this week....
not veri sure why but i guess im too tired...
tired frm what im not sure....

todae got mini match with ex ye lang bballers and the newbies...
they play till not bad for youngsters...
one was bigger in size and quite accurate in his three pointers...
our usual suspects played only so-so
they had better standard
but not that good enough
maybe the drive wasnt there
but they oni improved their marks significantly when he went in....

im quite unwell and low morale this whole week....
hopefully next week would be better....

i dun even understand myself sometimes..
not sure wad i want
wad im lookin for...
women are such intricate animals...

there are two kinds of women....

one is the materialistic kind...
they are normally independent
and do not stick much to their guys
but they must know that their guys have a stable income
good earning job
and bring them out to expensive lunch or dinners sometimes...
they are also usually those who expect you to send them home
right at the doorstep...
normally they would leave their guys only for a reason...
cos e guy is not rich or stable enough
but they will say that they have no more feelins instead....
they are usually easy to please if u give them wad they want....
money.....
and they usually voice out wad they are unhappy with
they are usually petty and ban guys frm doin lots of stuff

the second one, ppl are usually mistaken bout them
they are the sentimental emo ones....
usually they will suffer with you if need be,
even if u are not rich they will stick by
but they stick too much
they want to spend time with you and its their way of caring
they do not expect much material wise...
but they think a lot
and men can never satisfy them
cos men will never know wad they want...
some things may seem insignificant but to them it means so much
they usually do not restrict their guys a lot
because they want to give hiom freedom
but the guys may just hurt them unknowingly
and bein this kind of women
they usually leave their guys silently
and end it with nothin much
but a sorry and thats its her fault
not his.....
when she says this
she actualli means
its not ur fault but its still something you did

whichever men may think
whether its more difficult to please
women wanting money or emotional
sometimes if the guys are not sensitive enough
they will most likely onli realise wad they did wrong
only after she leaves......

however miracles do exist.....

men are like flour
hard and dry
messy and insentimental

women are like water
simple but easily leakable
have to be constantly showered with love to stay warm

together
with patience, understanding and committment
they become dough
something that can only exist with both mixed well together
( love)

wendy*6

still water runs deep, you will never know if a tsunami is boiling under the peace

where should i begin hahaha....
im so tired....

after sentosa i went camp on sat...
damn tired la..
but was happi that yuan drove me around...
yeah appreciated you driving me to the camp
and back to ur place for a good rest
althou partly it was to be with u thats y i went off haha...
but the camp was not bad laa....
got e damn handsome singer ha and the guitarist...

sunday
immediately after jess smsed me....
why?
i thought i should be the one saying sorry?
is it? why do u sae that?
i dunno
i know u too well, u will nv be sorry, seriously i dun know wad you are thinkin
i dun know wad you are thinkin about
.....................................

you will just disappoint me forever right?

it was nice....
after i bathed yuan passed me the leave on conditioner
and went to bathe
i didnt know whether i was supposed to wait till my hair dries up
so i waited for him to come out
by e time he was out, my hair dried up
and he said
eh u toopid lehz u wait until hair dry liao how to put
huh? i duno ma... u now put for me la...
u put urself or dun put
dun put lor.... ( i didnt wana dirty my hands anyway....i thought. and i reali didnt mind not puttin )
after few mins... after i forgot the conditioner
aiya come come come i put for u la...
it was somethin not worth talkin bout to some
but to me..
the feelin of just gettin conditioner put on me by him
was exquisitically diabetic causing haha.......
somehow i knew u will give in...... shhhh....

todae attachment was boring duh...

this patient who was workin at the food court said he recognized me
but i didnt even know he existed ha
scary.....
he kept sayin he see me before la...
so?.........wad?!....
sam just had to sabo me...
we were in neuro ward
and this quite cute 19 poly student wanted to go out with frens 4 a while
the nurse said to take his hp no so we can call him back if need be
and sam had to sae i myself wanted to keep his no for my own usage
wad e hell!!!!
and guess wad i said?
i told sam
pls at least even if i wan i must find someone better than yuan rite?
yuan more handsome lor......... ( cross my fingers haha)
hahahaha.......
no im serious ok...
im not interested in him at all...
more so, thinkin of that kinda thing....
to a patient?! YUCKS....

work damn busy...
im almost like covering the order taking, takeaways and serving?
duh
made a fool of myself when faizal called the customer over
and i thought he was callin me...serious...
so i stood in front of him
and when he turned he just stunned and stared at me...
and i stared back with those soulful eyes...for a few secs..
until the lady say excuse me...
then i know he wasnt callin me
and ping laughed so loud...
that horrible fren of mine... duh...
faizal last dae i so sad...
ketok one cheesy bite frm him hahaha...

went home quite late... haha.. toopid yiping miss her bus..
who call her so evil dun wan accompany me...
but in e end gotta accompany me haha..
was talkin bout SOME stuffs again....
actualli ping i was afraid to tell you..
that deja vu feelin was here just now again when we crossed the road..
you know the feelin that.....
ill meet him again... and....
you know....
WELL I DUNNO....
take a step count a step....

the heart

heart kept in a box
box made of crystal glass
smashed by thief one day
glass broken
cut heart
thru time
heart healed
left scar
mild was mine
but gotten over
but i know
deep was his
still not over....
i knew but hope im wrong

met my frens at kallang...
was quite a coincidence ha...
they were cycling when they saw and called me...
i turn and turned to find them when they were just in front ha...
think i made a fool out of myself in front of the strangers waiting for buses.. ha

wendy*6
i think i will never get it all
after so long
still nobody understands me
but i guess thru this misunderstanding is how i get to understand them both...

im still a gal whom no guys can understand thoroughly...
guess its never...

oh my god!!!!

today i went to eat at
marina steamboat buffet for dinner with yiping....
we took so much crab till e uncle who is e cook
came and tell us to take some more and tat he cookin more...
then he came again and told us that we can go take already
cos he just cooked more....
then he came again and told us to eat slowly...
hahaha.....
horrible sial... we were so paiseh can...
and the way we ate was so messy and rough laaa....
ping its reali true
that u wun meet ur prince at marina
cos they will be shocked ha....
then wads worse was when i went home
i reached kallang already
and stepped out of the mrt
and guess wad...
my button on my skirt just popped out...
it just shot out and bounced to the other platform
where the door was opening
i gei seow faster walk down the stairs
tapped my card and took e bus home
wad were u expecting me to do?
walk over to pick up my button?! oh gosh...
its not that i ate too much ... realli!
u see the button is clipped on both sides kind
and not sewn de...
thats y ok...

yawnzzz tired... gonna pack bag and slp for tml sentosa
yeah

wendy*6

this week is so rushed yeah...
just felt like it was e 1st dae of the exam
and now its already the last
im seriously gonna flunk all sial haiz....

my life is passin so fast and FURIOUS hahaha

firstly i gotta apologize to my buddies pearlyn, camila and veron..
but not jonathan haha.. ( althou u veri nice to me too)
been spendin lesser and lesser time with u all
but not that i can help it..
i dun understand y our time collides
when im free u all aint and vice versa
and not that i dun wana committ to RCHN but i oso got bball lei...
hahaha will spend more time with u all during hols kkz

todays interview sucks la
we were told to dress formal casual
but we dun even know wad e heck and how to
so we were sorta sheepishly dressed ha
that guy nicholas is quite a gay haha
the company suck
its all full of malays
and they talked so loudly like so slack
and we wanted admin but they kept pushin us to do sales ha
duh
doubt we even want rite yiping? haha
aniwae its stupid to work there la
i think u same opinion as me rite quack
think it doesnt have much prospects ha

todae i went for the chinese acupuncture finalli ha...
didnt reali expect to get poked la
i was told to strip half my butt haha
i was damn cool bout it la and just pulled it down
without thinkin twice bout paisehness
when the professor poked the first 2 needles into each of my muscle calfs
it was scary
but the last 2 at my coccxy ( tail bone) was even more painful
due to my phobia of needles i was even trembling after the needles were removed
anyway i was electrically shocked for 10 mins and poked for 20 mins
and i have to go back another time sial..
and i was told not to wear hipsters or drink cold drinks cos i aint good.. sad sial
so yuan promised me to go shopping with me to get non hipster bottoms
u promise de ah....... dun go back on yr words eh....
oh almost forgot
when e professor and the student were taking my pulse
the student said my pulse was weak
then the professor sae
how is it possible? she looks plump
then he took my pulse
do u do sports often?
yeah i swim and play bball
her pulse is not weak , its slow because she does sports
oh ok said the student
eh y u play bball still so short?
my father short wad to do haha
but play bball all tall lehz
maeb i e shorter fews in bballers lor
hahaha
tieu....
and i tot the professor looked damn professional b4 i went in
but after that farni chat
he gave me a warm friendly approachable feelin

while waiting for dad and yuan i bluetoothed this photo...
<




and he said he deleted it...... wad a crack....
heh heh heh.....




btw this is taken after we went to sentosa...
so we are quite pinky red haha....
see the flushes????



>


oh ya and this is the picture i took last night..
cute rite haha....
my dad found this in the store room
its just nice mine and his size la...
wanted to give him but he sae cannot
cos it will mean i wana send him away by giving him shoe haha
anyway its just for the fun...
look at our family of piggies haha
look at his fat and hairy thighs on the left haha
<





introducing......

chau yuan junior 1 li yuan
chauyuan junior 2 chau quan
hui qi junior 1 shuang qi
and hui qi junior 2 hui rong

>

haha lame sial me
i got names for them but in case ppl laff till "PENG"
i better write smaller haha...
just for e fun of it la...

anywae i have been talkin to a fren...
he seemed to be veri regretful bout stuffs...
pessimistic too...
but wad i told him....
when u find the right one, he or she can make u forget all ur regrets
and make u wana cherish the present instead
i used to regret losing this guy who treated me veri nice...
but now i dun...
because i have found him...
as for that guy we are veri good sisters now...
god is great...
everything happens for a reason...
never let the past hinder ur present or future...
who would have thought the guy i like now is the guy i casually asked about a yr ago?
the greatest lesson comes with regret and a price to pay...
but the greatest regret helps u to cherish the next
wad a cycle....


yawn.. this weekend got camp....
haha...
hope it will be fun la....
my back hurts...
gonna go bathe ha....
been quite lazy for a while...
haha better enjoy b4 attachments starts woohoooo........

wendy*6
to me you're everything

RELUCTANCE
thats the word to describe me every sundae....

this week is exam week...
and i cant believe im actualli studyin ok...
but im bloggin now to ease my tension haha...
haiz... cant believe im so hardwerkin but i studied e wrong stuff yest haha..
i always pass only with sheer luck yeah...
but i doubt ill pass all this time round...
hey not that i didnt study ok....

i have just decided that some info i will keep in my private diary
writing kind..
not all i will blog here but most will la...
anyway i duno wad got into me on last thurs...
maeb i just broke down because it was reali veri difficult for me to handle...
having to choose btw frens or him...
it wasnt all because of this...
it just showed how much i wanted to be with him
and how much i couldnt bear to leave him..
but still i had to...
and i did....
ppl dun understand wad im thinkin..
but just this small incident made me realise a lot of stuff yeah...

no time to blog now..
gotta study a wee bit more....

to be continued

wendy*6

the weekend was ho-hum
sat the canoeing was nothin much
but it got fun at the end when zibin borrowed the ice cream bicycle haha
well, got free t shirt so ok lor haha...
e movie at nite with danny, yvonne, edmund, robert and of cos yuan was fun too
toopid danny and robert call me ah bui...
it all brings down to that toopid ah yuan he started first...
cool sial... imagine 2 cars and 2 bikes go out together haha...
so fun laughin with them...

sundae nothin much
ah yuan leg pain so went home early to slp
mondae mornin yuan told me i laughed in my slp ahhaha
scary sial....
imagine u slpin with someone and then that someone suddenly laugh
if me i confirm scared and run away slp on e floor
yuan can still look at me and touch my hair to slp haha
when he did that i woke up and snuggled closer....
hee......
then back to laughin hahaha.. i myself think its scary..
dun even noe y i laughed?

monday mornin two of us ate
4 eggs, 6 slices of bread, i lor mai kai and 2 siew mai haha...
ah yuan kena bluffed
actualli i order e lor mai kai and siew mai hor
i just wana taste nia but cant finish
luckily ah yuan sae e food nice then i push to him
i gei seow sae he like then let him eat lor haha...
such an uncanny resemblance
both were 5 yrs and both were libras eh..
yeah if the old doesnt go e new wun come rite...
hmmmm....

then go sch for bcls test
luckily i nv study for it cos so easy haha ( skarly fail lor)
aniwae i didnt even bring pen so u can imagine i how slack la
test no nothin how to do haha
brain empty, hands oso empty... cannot make it la...
then after e test met zibin, cq and ym.....
then decided to go grandma hse haha...

at grandma hse i told them bout yuan la....
then my cousin ask... good lookin anot?
i say... duno lehz, sometimes see ok sometimes see not yandao lleh
my cousin was like huh? wad talkin you.... where got lidat one
my grandma more power.. e first thing out of her mouth was... he fat de huh?
i was like... ah ma i fat doesnt mean he must oso be fat rite.. hahaha... dots...
and wa lau my cousin sae he look 19 lor... errr....
zhong dian is....she oso sae i veri sweet lookin in this photo hahaha...

then i went to meet ah yuan cos i oso didnt noe he sendin max back
qiao lor
dinner with him so funni la...
i tell him all toh peng ( wrong)
haha..
i told him my cousin sae he looks like thirty plus and he look ugly
hahaha but kena seen thru my tricks haha...
he knows i added those myself ha...
then he asked me for e dont cha ring tone.. i know he confirm wan de...
then he ate laksa...

just a mere laksa conversation seemed to have so much meanin.. or so i think la...
e laksa not veri nice...
huh i tot u eat b4?
eh i ate here like more than 1 yr ago?
yeah maeb e cook changed liao...
or maeb u smoke too much ur taste bud changed? (get my hidden meaning?)
yeah guess so....
i still dun understand y u call me to call you and u let me listen to duno wad hahaha..

then todae tues hor... can u believe i actuall slp frm 12 till 4 pm
and i was eating and slpin that was all
damn pig haha....
todae quite sad la..
i was rite..
sharon and steven de problem arise le...
still i hope they will be ok la..
but if sharon is not happi bein with him i think she should just give up...
wads between them steven should tell her rite..
y go confide in someone he didnt reali know .. and her good fren somemore...
and wads worse is she is a gal...
do i smell cheating or flirting around here?

then i sort of made jx angry...
reali didnt mean it ...
but i guess she is still angry somehow...
somehow i feel im not that close to her after all

i asked sharon if she reali believed her fren...
cos sometimes even good frens betray you... steal ur guy...
sometimes i dun think i can ever find a good fren like jess...
both of us knew that if a guy were to cheat the other we would tell each other...
and this kinda guy is so out of our list
but some close frens steal ur guys openly, worse sneakily..
somethings ppl cant see with their eyes....
that when good frens help you they mite have a hidden agenda...
me and jess were cultivated in a way that...
if we liked e same guy, its up to him to choose
and after makin the choice the not chosen one would not get too close to him..
and if he were a cheater. goodbye...
its understood between us....

im not insinuating anythin or anione
im just sad.. becos i dun ever wana think bad of anyone...
i hope my frens are true to me too ..
becos i dun wana get disappointed

jx left early then me daniel wei melvin dexter sf stayed on to play cards
damn funni la..
i tot must sign name when go funeral la..
toopid me...
when playin cards i forgot take 5 card must pay double
then i took and lost..
then they veri bad...
they sae ah yuan hip not pain cos of bball
but becos i burned a big hole in his pocket by losing money...
so bad la....
i still think melvin is cute wahahaha...
its so weird that after i dun like him liao then can joke with him ahah...
i guess it was just a crush on a yandao guy haha...
then that stupid drunk shi chuan came...
and he slammed e table i kena shocked...

he told everyone wad was my card..
i damn pek chek till dun wana answer him..
bit scared cos he drunk..

daniel knows i scared la...
so we all go home haha...
although im that kinda not so gal de gal who aint afraid of
goin home late or gettin beaten by anyone, in short dun have to be protected de gal....
sometimes i like bein protected by yuan...
and i duno y... its just kinda special u know..
and its kinda shockin that im thinkin of such a gu niang thought hahaha...
i used to think nothin of it
but now i actualli want it haha...
and when i was scared i actualli had hoped for yuan to be there haha

i hope ill never have to re-evaluate my frens
or even evaluate them to start with

i know im not a substitute and u aint one too

and for now im reali happi...
happy that me and yuan are not that kinda mundane couple who are too serious
we joke and we are happily in lofe

and thats almost enough to keep me goin :)

wendy*6

will you still lofe me in the morning?

tues jx asked me to see forewerks
but i rejected
cos yuan wasn't there
and wads e point off seeing foreworks without e one i lurve rite
so no hweeling hahaha
but hahaha i still veri happy lor....
yesterdae was national dae and i asked yuan to see foreworks with me
but he dun wan
then we just slept whole dae like pig
and went out to eat b4 e ndp finish so as to avoid the traffic
skarly
no one expected that where we sat
we could actualli see the firewerks clearly and damn nice unblocked la..
i so damn happi that we still sae e firewerks together
and its not on purpose de haha
cos we fated to see i guess hahaha
on cloud 9 lor.... i turn his head and say yuan u see see see
hahaha
sounds like force him to see haha

just a random thought for todae....
i remembered last yr or wad..
it was the first time i asked my mum to buy lottery number for me....
i asked her to buy 8688... 2 bucks....
but turned out 8088 came out the 2nd or 3rd place...
maeb it was exceptionally etched clearly in my mind cos it was my first time..

then another random thought....
last yr b4 i knew yuan.....
i asked jx...
eh who is that guy?
oh cy lor
how old is he?
dunno lehz i dun reali know him
he got gf anot?
think got.. heard he getting married
oh ok....

this got me thinkin bout somethin
can u ever forget someone whom u have remembered for almost ur whole life?
in this life there are comparisons made everywhere, everytime.....
if i cant make comparisons how am i to know?
if i can, make comparisons, would i be hurt?
whether i will or should know, who is to judge?
still the question remains, do u still love her more?
or would i be?

when i leave,
would you be saddened?
more sad losing me, or more sad without her?
if i ask you, would u tell me?
if you tell me, would i believe you?
if i believed you, can i feel it too?
if i didnt ask you, would u know?
if you know, would you bother askin?
know that it bogs me, deep down inside....

sometimes its just so difficult to ask to the point....
its so darn diff to ask what you actually yearn to ask...
difficult to confess how u actualli feel....
i wana tell you
but i duno how to
and when i tell you
i guess there ain't a need to anymore


today i saw ah wei...
2 yrs back we met at new yr party...
he left quite an impression on me...
he never smiled..
he had that kinda nonchalant attitude....
kinda introverted....
cute but handsome....
i didnt know if i liked him or wad, admire?
but the first time we spoke was becos of a small miscom
and we sorta quarreled...
darn wadda first impression for both of us...
aniwae i sae him outside sim bus stop...
guess i changed too much so he didnt rem me...
i just stared and stared at him ...
i wanted to call him but i forgot his name...
just rem its somethin wei...
well he must be thinkin y is this gal starin at me wahaha..
well as must as he suddenly came into my life
he also swiftly left
left with a veri lasting impression indeed.....

after so long.... i mite have decided....
that my family pisses me off sometimes...
attitude from this side and shoutings from the other..
its time for me to voice out...
i wanted so much to tell him my probs but i know he cant do much
and i dun wana bother him too.....
and he had to choose this dae to almost get into a fight again
so tired ...... of all these.....
im pissed off with my family....
not that its dysfuntional or wad...
its just that , you know, an idle mind is the devils workshop....
it too peaceful till they actuall make up problems...
and i have to be the one juggling this shit...
just one more time and im gonna blow my head off
im gonna shout and make them wake up..
im not gonna be sad...
y should i?
its not even my problem..
its not even a problem if u ask me...
but i just hate the commotion..
just making a mountain out of a molehill...
adults are irrational sometimes
adults are a pain in the arse
thats it, i dun wana sae more...

sometimes i wonder.....
do i have it all?
or i have nothin at all?

wendy*6
wad am i living for?

just now we were at shu xianz hse
then yiping said a lot of wad IFS
if
if
if
this is a word thats somehow says regret, contentment and hopes
regret.........
if only i did not blah blah blah
contentment.....
if i did not do blah blah blah , i wouldnt be here now.. luckily i did...
hope.......
if i were blah blah blah, i would be happier
i never liked using if in my vocab of language
because it destroys more than it heals
usually

to me everything happens for a reason
the time place and feelins are veri important
if one is missing it means its not right for you yet
we will just have to wait for the right one
for now all my ifs are of happiness and content
im reali happy that i did not lose my chance
to getting my ticket to happiness haha

never think back on wad u have lost, reali.
think on wad u have gained instead
yiping told me....
wa wendy if few yrs back i did not ...........
then i said...
yiping if u do .... now then few mths later
u would be rejoicing instead of like now kip regreting rite?
dun kip saying if u did not .... in the past le kkz
but yeah i do agree with her that must find e rite one la
no rush anyway haha


wendy*6
its so difficult to be a human sometimes

this mornin the dim sum breakfast with his parents was nice
he keep bullying me as usual
but he got kiap food for me lor haha
his mum keep callin me to eat haha

ha todae was fun fun fun
met danny and yvonne
they are so fun and friendly
but not the other 2
i didnt reali find the other 2 veri easy to talk to but nvm haha
shiro and vodka actualli shit in the sea la
wad e hell haha
but yuan is so good
although both not his dogs he actualli settled for them
esp when the caucasians were complaining la
haiz and the owners were scared haha
thats wad so good bout yuan
he is ablt to take charge and able to think and act swiftly and settle probs
and he is so good to his frens...
but pls draw a line btw frens and me, his gf haha..

yuan is veri cute todae
frm yest at changi airport till todae he kept saying 'say my name' hahaha
horrible

anyway i hope some things i said do get into him
cos its tiring to repeat the same thing
i mean if a veri good fren always u know then its so uneasy already
i just hope he understands la
otherwise when i get tired le i confirm back out liao

then went back to my hse and nap for a while
then bball
home and here i am haha
sianz tml got nr
i tot no more le haha ...
i wish....
great im burnt at my shoulders and its so pain haha....
kkz nitez...

wendy*6
pls change and convince me that the worry is unduly for

im so darn busy lor.....
haiz wed was e worst dae
i know i always skip lesson
maeb i reali should buck up on my studies
but the letter is nothin ok
and my dad always vents his frustrations on me
i dun wana be bothered by u all adults prob u know?
great sis saes wana move out and put spike to slp
yeah..... i know she wont.......

thur work was damn fun
it wasnt even 945 yet but i just change e sign to close and close e store haha
yiping actualli fiddled with the receipt orinter adnd spoilt it
our stupid manager oso nv help us
so can u imagine almost 10 customers cant pay?
luckily i smart haha press this press that
then enabled the machine to cash out haha

yesterdae i went swimming with shuxian
quite nice
at least we swam more than last time la
again she wana eat waffle haha so eat lor
not bad lehz quite simple but enjoyable
then i was tellin her how ah he did not reply me e whole dae haha
then after that went to meet jx at suntec
saw ah cheng they all
quite fun la they all
i bickered with ah cheng
but duno y when yuan came ah cheng stopped talkin to me
sianz
ah cheng is cute, real cute
but thats all u know...
it stops there..
maeb if i didnt meet yuan i would like ah cheng i mean im honest ok
but like...
and i love yuan
so its different haha
was pissed off when i almost reached home...

i duno who i told this to...
having a partner is so troublesome
you have to worry bout them
im not those petty type or posessive type
but i guess bein in a relationship
it just comes together in a whole package u know
its like when u not in a rs u will not be like that
but when u are, u will be, its natural u know
ur weekend schedule will be veri messed up, taken up
but well.... too bad........ haha....
great im jeering myself.......
TOO BAD.!!!!........ WENDYYYYYYYY..........
hahaha..........

wendy*6
am i the reason for you?